getting back.
I’m slowly & surely finding my way back to who I was. I don’t feel as lost daily as I did. I have some amazing friends that I wouldn’t change for anything. I don’t open up to people, I never have. I’ve learned sometimes I need to just push my pride aside & let people be there for me. I’ve needed them & those good ones have found me again.
Ironically I found a song that was my last two months. Down to a T. Even the fact that to me, cigarettes & coffee WERE what were saving me. One of the many reasons This Providence is an amazing band:
Card House Dreamer
“My world is falling apart.
I was a fool, I never saw it coming.
Oh no, no.
My life is like a card house.
A delicate construction
With no regard for the wind.
Everybody’s changing.
Oh everybody’s changing.
And I don’t know know know know know how much more I can take.
I thought I had everything under control.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I thought I held my world in my hands.
Until it broke and I awoke from this foolish dream.
I put so much of myself in everything else.
Yeah in everything else.
It was a dream come seemingly true.
Torn at the seams revealing a nightmare.
I thought I had everything under control.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I thought I held my world in my hands.
Until it broke and I awoke from this foolish dream.
I thought I had everything under control.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I thought I held my world in my hands.
Until it broke my heart.
Everything I loved had changed.
Coffee and cigarettes can’t save me.
No, it’s a hope where there’s no chance of a hope in the world.
And I’m hoping for. (I’m hoping for)
I thought I had everything under control.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I thought I held my world in my hands.
Until it broke and I awoke from this foolish dream.
I thought I had everything under control.
Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I thought I held my world in my hands.
Until it broke my heart.
Everything I loved was flawed.”
Thank you to my friends, you know who you are. No seriously. You don’t know how much the past couple weeks has meant to me. I was broken, but I’m on the mend & it’s because of you all. <3 After tomorrow, hopefully everything will be looking up again…
